After Two Long Weeks

I sit here tonight my Joe, working on my blog and thinking about the last three months since you went to live in your new heavenly home. I can't even imagine what it must be like, how beautiful it must be. But I CAN tell you there is no words to describe the pain and loneliness of you not being here with me. I try to keep busy during the day and that helps. The nights are the worst. People say, and I've said it too "that time heals".... but it seems like that "time" will never get here.  I know I can't get around it. I have to walk through it. Now that the snow is gone I can get out of the house. This was a week full of joyful news regarding some of our grand kiddos....adults now.

Meet Jess Schwartz. She is our newest grand daughter to be. Yes, Brandon is engaged.He waited for a long time for the Lord to give him the perfect wife for him.  I won't be going back to Colorado for the wedding.... you know how much I love to fly (NOT) but they are having a wedding reception in Oregon City in May and I will be there for that. Jan is coming down and we will go together. I am so looking forward to meeting her.

Then there is your Heather. It's not enough that she already plays the keyboard, guitar and ukulele. Now she is playing the violin.... all self taught via You Tube and her sharp ear  (of course that comes from her grandma right :) She played the theme from Pirates Of The Caribbean for me.
Then our sweet little  great grand daughter Araina turned one last week.
Last week David, Jennifer and the boys came to visit and brought me some groceries and a special movie I really wanted..... can you believe it.

 They gave me
"Finding Dory"  Then they stayed and we all watched it together.  Now I have both Finding Nemo AND Dory. I'm not much of a cartoon person but I loved these. The colors are so beautiful too.

After being housebound for two weeks from the snow and ice, I was able to get out of the house for a visit with son Mike. My intentions were to pick up the barometer I accidentally broke and he fixed it. As soon as I took it off the wall by one of the "handles" and it broke when I was moving, I remembered you telling me only to handle it by the center. Thank you Mike for your beautiful work.
 I was also blessed to be able to have a short, quick visit with  daughter Sheila. Bless her heart. Wednesday she had all her teeth pulled and dentures put in place. She was asleep, but Thursday through today have been so painful for her. So yesterday I took her flowers, and a goody bag with things that she will need for wearing dentures now, plus some yogurt. She doesn't feel like eating anything else yet.  

 

 Sheila lives in the country and the scenery on the way there is so beautiful. Especially on this day my friend and I went to visit her. On the way home, she spotted some moss that she could use in re potting a fern she had just purchased...

Well my love it was a long two weeks, but I made it. In trying to comfort me before you died, you would say "it will be OK"  It doesn't always feel OK but you are right. I WILL  be OK.
Bye for now.


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I'll love you for ever and for always
Your Betty Girl

Meet Lamby. In between snow storms, I was able to get to the Post Office.There was so much mail in my little box. Among the mail was a familiar yellow slip indicating there was a package... or more mail they couldn't get in my box. So I went to the window and it was a box. I brought every thing home and laid it on the counter, the package still unopened. There was more errands to run. It had been a tough day. Somehow, my house key fell off my key ring. GONE. If that wasn't enough when I got the mail there was a huge package  from medical records. Dates I needed for tax purposes but a huge painful reminder all the tests, surgeries, medicines....didn't work. He died.  Tears and rain doesn't make for safe driving but I couldn't stop them. I was back in the house by 5 and I opened my package. I didn't know who it was from. All it said was Amazon. But the person reading this  blog does. I've all ready communicated with that person. I thanked them for their sensitivity to the nudging of the Holy Spirit in giving me that sweet little lamb. Again God's timing is perfect. When you hold it's little paws. It recites the whole 23rd Psalm.
"Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death."....for 75 years I've always thought that was for the person dying. Holding and listening to my precious little lamb, I realized I walked through the valley of the shadow of death watching my Joe die little by little over the year. But the Lord was with me every step of the way. I encourage any of you who are going through your own difficult valley, take that chapter and personalize it. Where ever there is a personal pronoun put your name...Joe's right. I am going to be O.K. It's just a long journey but I'll get there and so will you.

PS. Guess what? After replacing the lost key and having a couple spares cut and put in a safe place.... I lifted a bag I keep in the back of my car and there was the lone, lost key. Apparently it had pulled off the key holder and stuck to the bottom of the bag and when I lifted the bag it fell on to the seat.  

Enough Already

Hi, Honey. I can imagine if you could get a glimpse of where I am you would be nodding your head saying "yep" Heaven is a wonderful place right about now"  It's beautiful here but Brrrrr.

Last weekend was a skiff of snow and lots of freezing rain leaving parts of the city paralyzed.  True to my word I stayed inside until the roads were clear

Then Monday and Tuesday, I took care of some appointments and am happy to tell you  Dr. gave me another good report. My A1c is great, liver enzymes are normal. 

Blowing, freezing rain made it slick right up to the door . I opened the door, looked out and closed it right up again.

I've seen snow hang on to the patio furniture, but see the little icicles on the table and arms of the chair?

The car was encased in ice. So the next day I carefully, with my boots on and all bundled up, went out to the motor home and it started right up and I also ran the generator for awhile. All is good. I was finally enjoying a day out of the house to finish my errands. I spent a day gathering all the paper work from all the Dr's, hospitals, pharmacies etc so I can claim the mileage on our taxes. I'm so thankful for Jean our tax lady. I just don't know what I'd do without her this year. I also made an appointment with the skin Dr. again as much as I didn't want to.  Dr. wants to have that mole near my right temple checked.  Then he also wants me to make an appointment with Physical Therapy for a balance assessment. He seems to think I would walk better on my feet than my face. I haven't fallen but  I'm a little more unsteady than before.  

But before I could do that, my ears really perked up when I heard the weather report on the radio. Snow was on the way.  And before I got in the door it had started to snow...and snow....and snow... All night long

It snowed until this afternoon. Portland and surrounding areas were paralyzed yet again. But I was warm and "snug as a bug in a rug" inside. Plenty to eat and drink. And today I have enjoyed all the Gaither video's I could find on You Tube and with the miracle of my Chromcast I've been able to watch them on my TV. I couldn't remember where I packed it when I moved and recently found it. By then I had to figure out again how to hook it up again. All done. I can use it with my phone, the iPad or my laptop. Right now I'm using the laptop while I work on my blog. 

I opened the door this morning and it appears the sweet little birds outside were looking for something to eat... I don't have any bird food at the moment. I will get some and put it in a feeder away from the front door step. 

This is looking out toward the highway.

I am so blessed to live in such a beautiful place. It isn't heaven like where you are honey, but it is as close as I will get for now.

It makes me cry, my heart is full of gratitude,  when I think of how much the Lord loves me and cares for me until I can be with you again.

I am told that no matter what the season is it is beautiful here. So I am looking forward to Spring, Summer and Fall.

Bye for now

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I'll love you for ever and for always
Your Betty Girl

Back Home In My Cozy Little Abode

It's me again Joe.  My first day back home after spending two weeks with my sister  was full of appointments and errands. Then in the afternoon I attended the memorial service for your aunt Sally.  It was nice to have Kelly sitting beside me and your cousins around me.

After the memorial service I decided to drive up to Willamette National Cemetery to see if your Marker had been set.  I had already made up my mind that I wanted to see it by myself first. I knew it wasn't going to be easy and it wasn't.  A biting cold, windy day and seeing your name on that stone marker was a reality check. If I hadn't accepted your being gone before (which I have) I sure did at that moment. I'm so glad there was no one around because the tears, and anguish crying and groans came from deep within and was not quiet. Out of all of that was a very private closure I needed. 

Today was a new day. More errands to run. One of them was a stop at Bob's Red Mill. You know how I love those healthy muffins.... On the way out one of the clerks told me to stop by the wheel and look at the plaque. I guess it's been there for awhile but I hadn't seen it before.

I'm sorry it is so light. My hands were full and I took it with my phone. I loved Uncle Wesley. You know He was such an encourager to us while your mom lived with us. 

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I have a little book I keep by my bedside entitled BEDSIDE BLESSINGS by Charles Swindoll. Last night was especially meaningful to me. 
"Our Part"...Trust God whole-heartedly, in every corner of life, recognizing that He is the one in charge.

"His Part"..."He will make your paths straight," or "even".In other words, He will smooth out your path. He'll take care of each of those obstacles on the trail ahead of you.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart.....He will make your paths straight
Proverbs 3: 5-6

So that's one of my words I'm working on right now...trust.  I was thrilled this morning when I turned the key in the motor home and it started right up. The generator took a little priming, I think cause it was so cold, but on the 2nd try it started right up too. Now I'm TRUSTING the Lord to find the right person to buy it (sooner than later) 

Bye For Now

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I'll love you for ever and for always
Your Betty Girl

A Beautiful Ride To Church Today

Hi my love,
As usual I'm Multi Tasking.... working on my blog and watching the Seahawks a the same time. 

You and I always prayed before starting the car no matter where we went. But today was a particular good day to do that.

Jan is a very good driver but asking God for protection while on the highway is also a very good thing.....no, that's not us. Probably happened last night.

The roads weren't too bad, and the scenery was beautiful. You would have been so proud of me. No jumping. Not even once. Didn't even have to sit on my hands..... Yeah, I know you're smiling.

But I've been working really hard on trusting God to take care of me. Why pray if I'm not going to trust Him after I ask Him to.... right?

By the time church was over, the roads were pretty much clear.  The service was wonderful and afterward, there was a "Tailgate Party" in the foyer with Frito Pie..... Fritos covered with chili and shredded cheese and lettuce on top, and coolers full of Soda and water. Nice prelude to a great game...... Seahawks did it again. 
It's been a wonderful two weeks with Jan. Christmas has come and gone and it's a new year and time to go home. I'll walk in the door and you won't be there. There may even be some tears. But I know those are a healing agent.  Like Kelly told me last night, "it's hard to look forward to something you can't share with dad."  But In my heart I will be sharing with you. I will put all my words in my journal. You know how writing  helps me. You taught me so much not by words but by your actions. I will try hard to use less words and do more on the action side. Don't know how that will look yet but with the Lord in control I'm sure I'll figure it out. 

Goodbye for now my love
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I'll love you for ever and for always
Your Betty Girl